I’m going to tell you what happened in the morning.
I debated myself on the issue, “Does being old make you sad?”
I often talk to myself in my mind, particularly, when I have a negative idea. ‘The other me’, so to speak, comes up in my mind and asks me questions such as, “Why do you think so?” And, at the end of the day, I can get rid of a negative idea and I’ll be happy. So I like self-debate very much.
Today, I also had such a unique conversation.
Looking at my forehead in the mirror, I said to myself with a sigh, “I’m going bald at the sides.”
Then I heard ‘the other me’ asking me, “So what?”
I answered, “I feel sad because I’m not young anymore.”
Then, the other me said, “Why do you think so?”
“Because I’m going bald. I had a plenty of hair three years ago. But recently, my forehead got wider than before. Being bald means you are old.”
I answered so, but ‘the other me’ didn’t stop asking me. On the contrary, ‘the other me’ posed harder questions on end.
“Then, do you want to stay young? Why? Do you remember you eagerly wanted to be an adult when you were 15? And even when you were 30, you admired your bosses and wanted to be like such a mature person. Now you are an adult. You are fully grown as you wanted to be so. Why don’t you feel happy rather than sad?”
“Well, I’m not happy because I’m not young anymore. That means I’m old.”
“Tell me why you are not happy to be old. Everybody will be old someday. And many old people live happily. What makes you feel unhappy?”
“I think I lost many chances and I won’t have chances or hopes in the future anymore. When I was young, I was full of hope. But I don’t have a bright future because I’m too old.”
I began to understand why I’m not happy. I think I have less bright future than before. In other words, I’m worrying about how many years I can live to get my dreams come true. Then ‘the other me’ put a question from a different angle.
“Why do you think so? Listen, when you are young, did you have money? Or did you have a network of people? How about working experience, or knowledge and skills vis-à-vis your job?”
“No. When I was young, I just had hope and I also had more physical strength. I didn’t feel tired after working hard. But I didn’t have human network or money. I didn’t have job experience and knowledge, either.”
“So, do you think being ‘biologically’ old makes you feel sad, not blessings taking into account?”
“Yes. And now, I think I was wrong. I should have got a wider viewpoint on being old. And because I had a narrow idea about it, I lost hope in the future. But now I’m full of hope. I feel I can do anything I want. I got rid of an old idea and get a new one. I’m very happy now!”
This is how I changed the way of thinking.
To be honest, when I was young, I didn’t have clear-cut plans for the future. Instead, I just wasted my time. Now I think I should choose something I want to do first of all and do it. So I wrote this essay today, because expressing my opinion in English is one of those things I want to do.
And to be honest, I’m not so bald, just a little bit.
Thank you for reading. Have a good day. Bye-bye!